Today I’d just finished sweating it out at my Thursday morning 9 Rounds class and was chatting to one of the lovely instructors who’d patiently, encouragingly, without judgment got me to try jumping on this large box as part of the routine. I failed, but I’d tried over and over again and that was the point. The lady that was on the next station told me she was proud I’d given it a go as she’d taken a year to even try it, because like me the mind says it’s impossible, yet the body says otherwise (apparently!).
We had our usual weekly banter about things but at the end with her crazy suggestion of adding Saturday mornings into the mix I was appreciative of their efforts to help me get closer to ‘fit and forty’ than ‘flabby and forty’. I hadn’t realised that this year has had a theme across the board until I pondered things on my drive home.
Kicking off the years bible study in February I asked the ladies to think on what they wanted to get out of the year, and to take note when we got to November how God had answered it as we had the end of year celebrations and wrap party. Because it’s only fair that I lead authentically to truly study alongside I said that I wanted God to do an overhaul of my heart because I am too selfish, stubborn and struggle to truly and fully forgive at times.
The study is a wrap and the year is almost a wrap too. I can attest to the fact that despite very much being a forever work in progress girl that God did indeed do what I asked and overhauled my heart in areas needed and desired. It wasn’t comfortable. It’s not complete, but it’s been a great start and I’m so thankful for the consistent, tender work of my God. One thing I couldn’t imagine being reality has unfolded because God never gives up on overhauling those gritty parts when we give an all access pass.
As I think back on my year I see it’s not only been an overhaul of my heart kind of year. It’s been an overhaul of life kind of year where excuses don’t stack up like they use too and action has become the winner.
I knew that other people’s actions were not in my control but my reaction to them was mine to own. I couldn’t excuse responding poorly or down playing my lack of understanding and compassion. I’m pleased with how being more aware has seen greater ease and joy on that front. And then I also admit that as recent as this week I realised why this lady irked me so much and my role in it. I know right, forever WIP! But better to try than not even work at it!
I knew that my health had taken a back seat to the worthwhile things I juggle and enjoy in life. But I noticed I wasn’t as able to do my favs and needed as well or as consistently because of it. So that too came into focus this year.
I knew that certain foods upset my tummy, my energy, my weight but while I had nutted out two big contenders on my own I just wasn’t sure on the other. Finally the excuse of being time poor lost and off to a lady I went late last year. After doing a process of elimination that third culprit showed itself earlier this year and when I get lazy on it I’m reminded of how much it matters.
I knew that unwanted weight was being lugged around with me but I used excuses to myself when I didn’t like the reflection or the fit of my wardrobe. 1 – well that’s just what a journey of trying for a baby has brought and it’s just too hard now I’m older to get rid of it, the lady at the gym back in 2015 said so. 2 – if people realised how much I juggle and don’t have time for preparing a better lunch or fitting in the workout I use to then those little digs wouldn’t come. 3 – If they knew just how much that blow affected me and how much curling up with a movie and chocolate brought ease then they’d let it be. 4 – some think I’m little and I hide it well with my wardrobe so what’s the harm, it’s too hard anyway to get back to those days. Plus I love my wardrobe so why would I want to drop back to my old size…what a hassle. But May this year that began to be addressed and while great progress has been made more is yet ahead.
I knew that with my immune system being weaker because of these factors that I was more susceptible to picking up the bugs going around and I didn’t have time for that. So the excuse of hating to take vitamins because of all the medication and potions from our fertility days no longer stacked up. Off to a different lady to talk about vitamins that were not synthetic and would help give me a stronger immune system, to be able to fight bugs and have what I needed to not just endure but thrive in my lane for the season set before. It was just a few months back but I’m already seeing a change.
On an unconscious level as I kicked off this big year I knew that my health needed an overhaul in order to do this tall ask and juggle all other portions of life well. It wasn’t that fitting into a certain size again mattered, but rather being fit and able to walk out my path well. It was that prioritising exercise and healthier food and supplements enabled me to be sharper in my mind, more able to rock it out when it came to leading and loving those in my life. Those inklings have been activated and this work in progress is in a state of being overhauled so that I can do justice to the life God has given me across the board and be in it for the long haul not the short game.
I wonder if you too have had an overhaul kind of year and if you are feeling weary or satisfied, complacent or grateful because while there is benefit it does take effort. Be encouraged and keep on! You’ve done better than you even realise, I’m sure!
I wonder if you are only in the thinking rather than doing stage and as you wrap the year and look to a fresh one next year you’ll choose to bring some overhaul where it’s needed. Perhaps it’s an all life overhaul like me, but mainly I pray it’s the internal, not often seen till further down the track kind of overhaul that God is whispering you to action.
Most of all I wonder if in your state of being a work in progress you will recall that the very God who created you is in the thick of it with you. While you can’t see, how I trust you will sense there is not a frown but a grin, there is not slumped shoulders but an encouraging glance as you are purposefully cheered on. God has got you and is at work, that is the safest and healthiest place to be is as His precious WIP!!!!