The past two months have been hard ones for me for a variety of reasons. In that space of wrestling it out satan has had a field day and I took things hook line and sinker. I was feeling insecure and doubting much, second guessing my purpose and lane, feeling wearing and battered. But in the school holidays while I tended to a bunch of business matters I also had space to just be. I didn’t fit in all the people I ordinarily would with a lighter plate in one area. I decided I needed to get up close and personal with God. Then the next week I rested and simply enjoyed the truths as I let them sit.
Now we are back into the swing of term two with the in depth bible study I opened up to Romans 5. I admit the verses on suffering producing perseverance, character and hope have never been a fav for me. That has been spouted off to me in our darkest of times as we longed for a family and if I’m being frank I was ok with my character and just wanted my way. It wasn’t until we came through that tough part that I saw the treasure in the art of suffering, to see what could be gained even with what was lost. So now this time around as I looked at those words I could see it from another vantage point. And as I went on to look at reconciliation and the extraordinary reality we have with God I could not help but feel this was the timely icing on the cake from my ever personal and unrelenting God. This passage was tailored for such a time to give confirmation of just what my worth is in Him, of just what lane has been purposed and what lenses I can come to life with. This was my sweet spot to just take it in and soar.
And I just love how God uses the things in our lives to speak. In that second week of the school holidays we had a public holiday so decided to make a long weekend of it and get away for some time together to just enjoy, relax and be. Our awesome travel agent hooked it up. On the flight home for just an extra $4 we had our very first experience of business class, and it’s lounge. As I sat in the lounge with it’s quiet space, people in their secluded sections of the room and staff standing by the buffet to grant people their whims I couldn’t help but look out the glass wall at the bustle in the terminal. I looked at my wonderful man and said I’d rather be out there, I felt like I was missing out on the fun.
Then on the flight we went in the opposite direction to normal. Once again the positioning of the seats made it very secluded. I couldn’t even see my man from where I sat. There was a hushed tone and people again tending to whims. While I did love the space for my legs, being able to put my seat right back, and having food on actual plates it was not for me. I didn’t need to fear getting a taste for what wouldn’t be. By the end of the flight we both agreed some aspects were nice but it wasn’t fun being separated. Each time I had leaned around the divider to chat a glare from behind would come. It seems even a whisper in business class is not wanted. I was created for connection, laughter and more and didn’t like to be secluded and hushed.
As I sit here this morning with my fingers tapping there is such a gladness in my being for I know without a doubt who my loving and tender God created me to be, and if it’s not a great fit for some that is ok because you can only soar and enjoy when you are being true to your design, skipping in the lane God has set in freedom and fullness. When you anchor to truth and don’t let satan take you back to spaces that have been dealt with.
So I wonder, where in your experiences is God allowing you to see this truth for yourself? And how will you soar as you know your sweet spot in life is nestled up to God in the highs and lows, in the real and great?